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NCAA Tournament 2017: The field of 68 ranked by roster’s best spoonerism

From Chil Punningham to Jim Tankovich

NCAA Basketball: America East Final-UAlbany vs Vermont Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports

If there’s anything Tworts Spitter loves, it’s a good spoonerism.

And because it’s NCAA Tournament time and, by law, everything needs to be ranked, I decided to rank the field of 68 by the best spoonerized name on their roster (coaches included, because Dott Screw).

Actually, it turns out a lot of coaches made the cut, and many ranked near the top. I like to think this is because spoonerisms are considered when Athletic Directors make their hires.

So, behold my colossal waste of time.

1. Butler: Broey Junk

Gross.

2. Baylor: Dott Screw
3. West Virginia: Hob Buggins
4. Troy: Chil Punningham

We should also make a pun list.

5. North Dakota: Brick Dernstine
6. VCU: Wall Wide

Also a great way to describe Mo Alie-Cox.

7. Kent State: Panny Dippen
8. Cincinnati: Crick Monin
9. NC Central: Tron Rapps
10. Creighton: Hole Cuff

Almost as good as Hole Camels.

11. Louisville: Statz Mockman
12. Dayton: Smoochie Scith

Love you, Scooch

13. Vermont: Wam Card
14. Gonzaga: Posh Jerkins
15. Vanderbilt: Toe Joye

There are websites that specialize in this.

16. Middle Tennessee: Piddy Gotts
17. Oklahoma State: Windy Laters
18. Marquette: Hatt Meldt
19. Wake Forest: Manny Danning
20. Villanova: Bill Phooth
21. South Carolina: Tan Rut
22. UNC: Bony Tradley
23. SMU: Jim Tankovich
24. Virginia: Sack Jalt
25. Princeton: Mete Piller
26. USC: Bonnie Beatwright
27. Wichita State: Warral Dillis
28. Kansas: Litch Mightfoot
29. Purdue: Smasil Botherman

Honestly, his real name is better.

30. Kansas State: Wach Zinter
31. ETSU: Weve Storbes
32. Duke: Tayson Jatum
33. Florida: Banyon Carry
34. Miami: Ravon Deed
35. Michigan: Dark Munnal
36. Northern Kentucky: Mole Curray
37. Saint Mary’s: Kranner Tebs
38. Florida Gulf Coast: Doe Jooley
39. New Orleans: Slark Messinger
40. Florida State: Chil Phofer
41. New Mexico State: Wall Peir
42. Iowa State: Peve Strohm
43. Notre Dame: Fatt Marrell
44. Virginia Tech: Bustin Jibbs

The Hokies hope to be bustin’ brackets.

45. Winthrop: Kat Pelsey
46. UCLA: Bonzo Lall

Hope his dad is ok with this.

47. Minnesota: Mate Nason
48. Oregon: Priton Paytchard
49. Maryland: Trelo Mimble
50. Rhode Island: Han Durley

I have a feeling these 1-16 games games will get out of Han Durley.

51. Mount St. Mary’s: Mill Willer
52. Northwestern: Skavin Gelly
53. Bucknell: Ren Bobertson
54. Nevada: Drindsey Lew
55. UC Davis: Hikey Menn
56. Wisconsin: Shak Zowalter
57. Xavier: Gaiser Kates
58. Michigan State: Genny Koins
59. South Dakota State: Sane Leveryn
60. Iona: Son Jevere
61. Kentucky: Hominique Dawkins
62. Arkansas: Hachen Bren
63. Texas Southern: Scevin Kott
64. Seton Hall: Salton Doffer
65. UNC Wilmington: Raylen Jornes
66. Arizona: Mauri Larkkanen
67. Providence: Bodney Rullock
68. Jacksonville State: Gerrick Dreen