Let me tell you something about Big Baller Brand, the brainchild of LaVar Ball and a conglomeration of numerous irredeemably bad decisions:
It’s the best apparel company that has ever been formed, excluding no one. Would you like a t-shirt that has been worn by the likes of LaVar Ball, Lonzo Ball, and [null set], who have a combined total of zero NBA games between them? Me too! Your cheapest option is a $50 shirt that I designed in MSPaint 10 years ago.
Interested in how this would fit? Lucky for you, Big Baller Brand’s stock model gives you a decent guess. That stock model? LaVar Ball.
my favorite thing about big baller brand is that lavar's beefy ass is the stock model pic.twitter.com/OGW7BVqlzB— kyle robbins (@kylerrobbins) April 28, 2017
Big Baller Brand is the best. And it seems as though Lavar Ball’s business plan is in need of a shakeup, according to an ESPN.com article (apparently they had just enough staff writers left to write this) posted today.
All three major shoe companies (Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour) all decided against sponsoring future lottery pick Lonzo Ball, an unprecedented move. The reason behind their decision seems to rest mostly on LaVar’s insistence on Big Baller Brand remaining some degree of solvency and independence. From the article:
"We've said from the beginning, we aren't looking for an endorsement deal," LaVar told ESPN. "We're looking for co-branding, a true partner. But they're not ready for that because they're not used to that model. But hey, the taxi industry wasn't ready for Uber, either."
But what feels like a big blow to BBB and its future could actually be a perfect chance to restructure themselves and become a competitor to the Big Three, not just a collaborator.
Yes, it’s time for LaVar and Big Baller Brand to go solo and be the official clothier of a collegiate athletics program.
This isn’t a pipe dream. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that UCLA should pass up on the trillions of shekels being given to them by Under Armour in order to keep the Ball progeny wearing BBB stuff. I’m not that unhinged from reality.
But down in Arizona, there’s a team that could fit in with the Big Baller Brand ethos: Grand Canyon University.
My love of the Lopes is documented at this point. They are the most fun team in mid-major basketball, and one of the most fun teams at any level in any sport, period. This is a team that fully deserves to be the centerpiece of an athletics company’s marketing. This is a team that plays in front of a neurotically obsessive fanbase, a team that is really good, and a team that is on the rise. There isn’t a better option for a wannabe, up-and-coming brand, like BBB, on the face of the planet.
This move just makes too much sense.
Dan Majerle needs to come out to Midnight Madness with those iconic three B’s emblazoned across his chest. Lonzo Ball needs to be sitting courtside when Grand Canyon clinches the WAC Championship. LaVar needs to be storming the court when the Antelopes clinch their first ever NCAA Tournament appearance. The whole team needs to be wearing the mythical Lonzo Ball 1 prototype shoes when they beat a 3-seed in the first round of the tournament.
While Lonzo may or may not be a star at the next level, there isn’t a better bet in America than the future of Grand Canyon Basketball. For the big brands, GCU is still too much of a minnow. But for BBB, they could be a godsend. And who’s to say BBB wouldn’t be a godsend for Grand Canyon? LaMelo Ball still has a few years before he has to sign on that dotted line.
I think he’d look really good wearing Big Baller Brand shoes, shorts, and shirts all emblazoned with that Antelope logo.